


it was accidental

by themadtilde



Series: Saphael & Malec prompts [4]
Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Background Simon Lewis/Raphael Santiago, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Magnus Bane is a Little Shit, Mostly just humor, Not just dialogue despite the summary, Raphael doesn't want to love him but he does, Raphael goes to Magnus for advice, how do you accidentally have sex with someone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 10:27:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14186877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themadtilde/pseuds/themadtilde
Summary: Inspired by the tumblr headcanon:Raphael:About a week ago I accidentally slept with Simon.Magnus:(pause) Really?Raphael:Yes.Magnus:You accidentally slept with Simon.Raphael:My fledgling.Magnus:I don't understand. Did you trip over something?(Not written with only dialogue though)Part 2 is up!





	it was accidental

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!  
> So, English is not my native language and this isn't beta'd, meaning that any mistakes are on me.  
> This is inspired by a tumblr prompt, so no cred to me for the idea!!  
> I know Raphael is confirmed asexual, and I don't mean to disrespect that by writing this. I know that some asexuals still have sex, or they can be demi/greysexual and experience sexual attraction rarely. Any sexuality is valid, real and very much important <3  
> This was just written for fun.
> 
> Also I can't differentiate between American English and British English, which is my I spell some words with Z or U, or use words as couch/sofa, crisps/chips, pants/trousers ...
> 
> I don't own Mortal Instruments.

“Now tell me: to what do I owe this pleasure?” Magnus asked as he fluttered around his living room, mixing a drink by picking up random things from jars, plants and bottles that decorated the living room. Raphael made a mental note to not drink whatever Magnus offered him. The vampire sat on the couch, hands folded in his lap, back straight, with a somewhat condescending look on his face.

Magnus stopped before him, holding out a glass with a purple-ish drink that had small bubbles welling up on the surface. Raphael accepted it warily, sniffing on it.

“Oh please, you can drink it, it’s not poisonous,” Magnus scoffed and Raphael gave him an unimpressed look. The warlock was wearing a flowy rainbow kimono and almost zero makeup, which was a rare sight. He smirked at Raphael, as if challenging him to drink it. Delicately, Raphael placed the glass on the coffee table before him, before dusting off some invisible dust from his pants.

“I need some … _advice_ ,” said Raphael rigidly, because he knew that asking Magnus for advice would either end in a sleepover where the man insisted on braiding his too short hair and paint his nails while gossiping and lecturing, or just a smug and teasing response.

Magnus paused and gave Raphael a surprised look. He knew that the vampire didn’t like asking for advice, and especially not _Magnus’_ advice. Ever since Alec and Magnus had gotten together, Raphael had been even more reluctant to ask the warlock for any sort of help; Magnus had become way too cheesy and lovey-dovey for Raphael's liking.

Judging by the strained look on Raphael’s face, it seemed to be actually serious this time.

“Shoot,” Magnus commanded, and began to mix another drink meant for himself.

Raphael looked around in the room, with an uncomfortable expression on his face. He seemed to delay his answer for as long as possible, before he replied, eyes set on a sloppy painting of a boy that looked suspiciously like Alec. 

“About a week ago, I accidentally slept with Simon.”

Magnus froze, mid-pouring his drink. Had he heard right? The glass was almost full before Magnus snapped out of his stupor, just in time to prevent the liquid from spilling over.

“Really?” he deadpanned, staring at the jars before him.

“Yes,” came Raphael’s grim response.

“You accidentally slept with Simon,” Magnus repeated, to make sure that he had gotten everything right. He placed the bottle with blue liquid on the shelf, turning to face Raphael. The vampire looked like he’d rather be anywhere else than in Magnus’ apartment, where he was exposed to Magnus’ inquisitive gaze.

“My fledgling,” Raphael confirmed stiffly, picking up his drink again and scowling at it.

Magnus walked over to him, gracefully lowering himself in the armchair facing Raphael. Wrapping his fingers around his glass, he fixed Raphael with his stare.

“I don’t understand,” he declared. “Did you trip over something?”

Raphael let out an angry huff, almost causing the contents of his glass to spill over.

“Not funny,” he said through clenched teeth. “I am in serious need of some guidance here.”

Magnus took a sip of his drink, a thoughtful expression on his face.

“I am in serious need of some explanation here,” he retorted, rotating his pointing finger to stir his drink using magic. “How do you _accidentally_ sleep with someone? Especially someone you claimed to be the, your words, not mine, _most annoying, stubborn, foolish, enervating vampire to ever have existed_?”

Raphael set down his glass again with a bang, throwing his hands up in frustration.

“I just - I don’t know how it happened!” he exclaimed, sounding almost offended. “I was lecturing him about his clumsiness and how _naive_ he was - he seriously thought we _sparkled_ in the sun! - and he was yelling at me, and things got really heated and out of hand and I …”

“You kissed him,” Magnus finished, nodding, looking like Raphael was his patient and Magnus was the psychiatrist, who was just nodding in agreement while scribbling notes in his notebook.

Raphael deflated, looking at Magnus with a dejected expression.

“Yeah,” he said, and sounded too tired to argue. “I kissed him. And things just spiralled from there. I don’t even …” he shook his head, looking pained. “I’ve never felt anything, for anyone. In decades. I didn’t even think I _could_ love someone like that, but I …”

His eyes widened when he realized what he just had said.

“Did I say love?” he demanded, looking at Magnus with wide eyes. “I did, didn’t I? Damn this stupid fledgling for … for being so _stupid,_ and _idiotic,_ and for making me feel … feel …”

“Human?” Magnus carefully supplied, a concerned and understanding look on his face. Despite his teasing and mocking nature, he cared greatly for Raphael. He’d been with him ever since his Turning, witnessed the scared, lost vampire grow confident, powerful and eventually become clan leader for the New York clan.

If there was one thing Magnus knew, it was that during all these years, Raphael had never taken interest in anyone. He hadn’t even alluded any interest in a relationship, or in making friends. Therefore, it was understandable that this talkative, young and innocent fledgling made Raphael insecure.

Raphael paused and glanced at Magnus, crestfallen.

“Human,” he nodded, reaching for his glass and downing everything in one go.

“Woah woah woah,” Magnus exclaimed, standing up. If Raphael was drinking, then things were really serious.

“Do you have any clue on how Sherman feels?”

“No? Yes?" replied Raphael, looking bewildered as he gripped the glass tightly. "I don’t know. He kissed me back, and he seemed to enjoy … er, everything we did, but I don’t know, maybe it was just a spur of the moment, too overwhelmed with lust to resist … ” Raphael trailed off, biting his lip and raking a hand through his hair. "He was gone when I woke up. No note, no text, nothing. I am almost certain that he's at the Institute, but he hasn't even tried to contact me since that day."

Magnus set down his glass, feeling sympathetic for the distressed boy on his couch.

“You need to talk to him,” he concluded, giving Raphael a stern look. “For real. Ask about his feelings, what he wants with this, if he’s serious and if he knows what this will mean for you. Both of you deserve answers - I bet my warlock ass that Sherwin’s as insecure and anxious as you are. And I think that your feelings may not be so unrequited after all,” Magnus added, smiling at the thought of Simon’s constant blabbering about Raphael and the longing looks he gave him. "He's just scared of what this will mean for you, and he probably thinks that you hate him. Just like you're doubting whether or not he was aware of what he was doing, or just acting out of instinct and lust - he's also wondering if you were serious with what you were doing."

Raphael looked defeated, like he’d known this would be the answer but still hoped for it to not be.

“I suppose you are right, Bane,” he grumbled, looking highly disgruntled.

“Of course I am.” Magnus sank back into his armchair, crossing his legs and folding his hands in his lap. He gave Raphael an expectant, smirking look and the vampire looked at him warily.

“Since we’ve cleared this up, it’s time for the juicy stuff,” Magnus proclaimed, grinning when Raphael’s eyes widened in horror.

“Now tell me - who tops?”

Magnus watched gleefully as Raphael promptly choked, spluttering with a murderous expression on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> I know Simon can't actually enter the Institute but I didn't know where else he could go soo...  
> Thank you for reading!!


End file.
